What Do You Mean I Need a Hobby?
(Originally written March 6, 2025)
The minute you start dating the idea of hobbies come up right away. Dating apps want to know your hobbies. Women want to ask you what you do for fun. I never have a good answer for this.
If you ever want to feel like a child, try to authentically answer the question: “What do you do for fun?” and be honest with yourself. What did you do the last couple of days that were otherwise unstructured? Here is what I came up:
Real Answer:
“Honestly my free time is a driftless amalgamation of activities that take my mind off the stress of my job, relationships, and the world in general. Most nights I fritter away the time on meaningless forms of electronic entertainment, whether it be television, video games, or whatever garbage pile of memes and short form video available to me on social media.”
“On the weekends I try to plan activities I enjoy and make me seem interesting, but on a small budget and with a nonexistent social network, what the hell should I be doing? At this point, my limited resources are focused on making sure my teenage daughters don’t think I’m lame.”
“Also, I’m working fervently to make my apartment smell less like a chemical plant since it has new carpet, paint, and was recently fumigated, but I am honestly losing that battle. I used to go to live auctions, but Covid-19 killed those off and I have no storage for anything I would buy. In fact, I have to keep the board games next to the snacks in my kitchen.”
Do you think this is the sort of answer that leads to a date in a chat with a beautiful, interesting woman? They have options and that is not what we would call a green flag. So instead, I have to use the “resume version” of the same thing:
Polished Answer:
“I really enjoy getting out in nature, usually on hikes within an hour of the Olympia area. I’m not much for camping but I’ll do it for a night if it means I get some amazing views. Since I’m new to the area I didn’t get a lot because winter but really looking forward to when it warms up. Also, I have been really enjoying working with my daughters to plan out little adventures on the weekends we are together.”
See, outdoorsy guy who loves his kids! Sensitive, yet macho. I can feel the flood of DMs from the Seattle/Tacoma metro area coming in now!
So before you date, work on your hobby answer. You can get this wrong, so stick to the pre-approved list: hiking, camping, travel, reading, one dramatic show, one (and only one) reality show, anything with animals (dogs are better), volunteering, and pickleball (over 50 only.)
With this list you’ll get to that first date! Good luck out there
!